Hw 48

I interviewed my parents and it went great, they had a lot of insights and a lot to say on the subject. Both my parents have spent a good deal of time taking care of the dead but in very different ways regarding their religious backgrounds.

My father comes from a very Christian family even though he himself is not very religious. He was drafted into the military during the Vietnam War but was sent to North Korea to guard the DMV line. My father watched many comrades die and sent back to America to be buried. He told me that the army knew how to move dead body like a well-oiled machine, never messing up. Ten years after my father got out of the military his fathers died. His mother was very distraught and he took control of his father burial making all the arrangements for the funeral, the wake and the church, which were all things that by his religion must be done when a person dies. He found it very easy to make all these arrangements fast with no problems almost like what happened in the army. I later asked him from what he had gone through planning his father’s funeral and seeing how the army handled death if he thought that this was a common social practice across the U.S and if so was it good. He answered, “No; it’s perfect. People that are dealing with death should not have problems arranging a funeral. Our “system” if you want to call it that doesn’t make people worried and stressed.“

My mother comes from a Jewish family that escaped from Russia many years ago. As a late teen she experienced her mothers death and watched how her father and her family handled the care of her mother. She sat Shiva as all Jewish families do when a love one dies, rabies came to her house to pray with her family and she went to temple. Later in life my uncle, her brother died and she being the next oldest made all the arrangements for his burial. She found out surprisingly, how simple it was to plan everything. This shocked her because it was so routine for the people she called when planning the funeral. They didn’t make her feel less important but this was their job and they were proficient at it. I asked her if she thought this was common. She stated, “Yes I think it’s common and great.”

My parents believed that the dominant social practices concerning death in America are perfect and help maybe even save some of the pain that a difficult burial would bring about. My parents agree that the care of the dead should be handled in a timely matter and the system put in place is able to do that, still holding the life of the person in the highest respect. I agree with my parents even when I questioned the system being morally right. There is no more efficient way to bury a loved one respectfully. Yet I thought this system was a social practice and all social practices have bonders that if crossed you were out casted but the system allows for any variation imaginable which makes it beautiful.

I found that my parents experience and handle death almost the same way, which shocked me because they both came from very different religious backgrounds. They both sit in silence for a moment when they hear the news. Then they want to talk about their feeling with each other and call friends and family. If they are the closest relative they plan the funeral with out hesitation making it the exact way they person wanted it. My parents have been practicing this routine for years and they feel it’s the best way to pay their respects.